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Being a Man: Sis, please understand I need to vent

February 4, 2009

Nope, not a sex change.  But currently this is a topic of discussion in my family as my sister’s husband is being a douche.  Yeah, I won’t post my sister’s name on here, or his, despite my overwhelming desire to beat him upside the head.  And if he reads this, it is time to deal with the fact you are acting like a douche.

Let me preface this with the fact that my sister is not perfect, she has the horrible habit, just like my mother and I, of repeating herself too much when something upsets her, as well as a bad case of low self-esteem.  But it is not without good reason that she has the later.  Her last few encounters with men have been sad and left her with little reason to be confident.  I love my sister, she is a hard working and an intelligent person.  Unfortunately, she married a “man-child” as my mom likes to refer to it.  My mom herself married a “man-child” and it took my mom going off and living her own life to entice him to settle down.

My sister ran head first into her marriage.  She loves her husband.  But, and I mean this is a big BUT, he does not have any appreciation for her.  At least his actions sure tell us otherwise.  My sister married him, probably too soon, but and we all supported her.  She knew there would be kinks that needed to be worked out but she went on faith that it would pan out.  So my sister got married, dropped her life here in CA moved all the way to the East Coast, set up a new life going to school out there, lives in his parents’ house, does his laundry, cooks him dinner, and is currently taking over 20 units and assisting in a lab.  She did all this so he could keep his job and contacts that he has, instead of up-rooting him from his current life.

My brother-in-law plays WoW, for those not into the MMORPG world, it’s World of Warcraft.  And well, of course, he has friends in the game.  Unfortunately, these friends are the type of people who are friends only in name.  They rag on each other and on their significant others who do not necessarily play the game.  They have recently called my sister a “whore” among other things, they even dared to say that my brother-in-law should “slap her around” to put her in her place.

You probably are wondering why my parents and I are getting involved in this, it is after all her marriage.  Somewhere between him lying to his parents and my sister about amending his desire to go date a stripper bad habits and booking a plane ticket to ditch the wedding my sister is a Maid of Honor at, to instead go to a strip club (the same strip club where the guys pay $30 for the powder room) with his friends in Dallas, my sister had the time to call my parents crying.  Why was she crying?  Because when she confronted him about all of this he decided to tell her she needs therapy and then began acting like a child refused to talk to her.  He is refusing to talk to her because he is upset that she went to us because he does not want us to think less of him.  Well, gee, I wonder what would make him think that we would think less of him for wanting to go be with a stripper instead of the wedding of my sister’s best friend, in which she is the MoH?  Maybe, it is the nagging guilt, somewhere inside whatever he has left of a conscience, that is telling him he is doing something wrong…

What does this all have to do with being a man?  Well in my brother-in-law’s opinion, being a man entails giving other guys a hard time, going to strip clubs, having relationships with those strippers, and playing video games.  I really would love to know what reality he and his friends are living in.

Where did my generation go so wrong?

Was it all the plastics and chemicals we were exposed to?

Other than my husband, I know very few good men that exist in my age group.  And while I do not know what else to tell my sister, other than she should live her life and don’t let this ruin her academic career, fat chance. I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with this country’s youth that this is what young men think they should be doing.  I hope that this is just an anomaly in what I have experienced of the world, but I highly doubt it.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. February 9, 2009 6:53 am

    If your sis doesn’t have kids, she needs to cut her losses. And read/listen to Dr Laura.

    Buy her the “10 Stupid Things” books. And a book about narcissists.

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